Flowers for the Departed
by See No Dum-Dums
Summary: Aeris and co. reaches Gongaga and hears about Zack's disappearance.  This leads our favorite half Cetra to reflect on seeing loved ones die, letting go, and moving on.  Not so much on pairings... it's ZxA and CxA, if you will. Aeriscentric Oneshot.


Oh, just had to post this... erm... right...

(D'oh! I knew I've forgotten something!)

Disclaimer: I tried taking Aeris by force, but sadly, Theelawe, whoever he is, is up against me - and he seems a formidable foe. So, all I could do is to "borrow" Aeris' voice for this fic. Nope, she still ain't mine.

**Flowers for the Departed**

* * *

So it's true. Really true. His kinsmen say he's been missing since roughly five years ago. 

Zack...

To be honest, I ought to have known this already. I felt it. I felt it while I was in the abandoned church, tending to my flowers. There, in that church, I can hear the Planet's voice almost clearly enough; well, clearer than anywhere else in Midgar, anyway. But I convinced myself that I've heard the Planet wrongly. I must have. After all, he was Zack, SOLDIER, First Class. No one beats a First Class SOLDIER.

Yet I felt it.

And I denied it.

Funny how a person denies the passing of his or her loved one, no? I should know; after all, I've seen people die. As in witnessed, not just heard from the Planet. But even in just hearing, oh yes, I can also... somehow... feel... the anguish, the sadness, the inability to let go. Take Mom for example. Her husband died during the war with Wutai. Oh, that was when I was still very young. I felt it. I heard my true mother's voice. I heard the Planet. So I told Mom about it. 'Don't be sad, Mom,' I said. 'He's returned to the Planet, that's all.'

Returned to the Planet...

It all sounds too easy, too convenient.

Well, it's true, perfectly true, but... so is the pain of separation, I guess. One could no longer hold, nor hear, nor speak to his or her loved one...

It's really painful.

And that's why people don't want to let go, I think.

That's why I refused to let go.

I tried to convince myself that we just, hmmm... fell apart. Well, he was always on the go. Couldn't stay in one place at a time. Oh, no, he wasn't _exactly_ a player (...or so I would like to think), but well, I know he could charm any pretty girl he meets, being a SOLDIER hotshot and all. And I was just... well... a _flower girl_. Guess I pale in comparison to those glamorous ladies SOLDIERs always hang around with.

Yes. I told myself those things. Just as an anchor for me to hold on to - as a foundation for me to believe that he hadn't... well... passed on.

But, come to think of it... it was a silly idea.

Sure, I'll never see Zack again in this world - but does that mean I should stop loving him? That's what memories are for, right? Sure, they say memories aren't perfect since it's only a re-creation, but, well, there's still a bit of what once was; it remains there, a reminder of the beautiful things that happened. In fact, it's kinda good that way, actually, keeping only the beautiful stuff (and by beautiful I mean both happy _and_ sad, as long as it's significant). Consider it the last gift of our beloved departed.

And there's the fact that everyone will die someday. Hah. Even _I_ will die someday. In fact, I might even die today, or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, with all this business with Shinra and Sephiroth. So we'll just see our loved ones again.

And lastly, our loved ones wouldn't appreciate it if we just stand there and mourn for the rest of our lives. Aside from the fact that it gets us all burdened with sorrow, it deprives us of the joys of life - the joys of what little time we have on this Planet. Sure, the Planet may be decaying and all, but hey, there are still a lot of beautiful things out there: Costa del Sol with its cerulean seas, Mt. Corel with its crimson sunset, Gold Saucer and all its fun rides. I'm sure no one of our dead would want us skipping those.

I'm sure Zack wouldn't, anyway. He'd even be glad to know that I've actually _seen_ Gold Saucer.

So, yes, I'm going to move on.

...And I guess Zack wouldn't mind if I get close to Cloud. Cloud? Oh, he's this wonderful person, who is, incidentally, also a SOLDIER First Class. In fact, _he kinda acts like Zack_... minus the charisma, the charm, the funnybone, and the, well, you get the point. But there's something in him. The way he bumbles around the place... almost comical. And he was 'all cool' with the idea of _cross-dressing_. Well, after _some_ persuasion, but hey! It takes a _real_ man to wear a _skirt_, let alone a _dress_.

...But seriously, I think I really like Cloud. Why? Not because he seems like Zack, but because... he's Cloud. Well, one would have to delve deep to see the true him, but he's there nonetheless.

Cloud is brave. No questioning that.

Cloud is eager to help those who are close to him. Well, he tries to pass himself off as an indifferent mercenary, but, well...

Cloud is... well, Cloud is Cloud.

Yes. Zack would want me to be happy.

So, I'll go on.

And, well, if Cloud 'leaves', I'll get sad, too... But I'll still go on.

...And if my other loved ones (which means Mom and/or my new friends Barret, Red XIII, Yuffie, Tifa, and... hmm... Cait Sith) die... I - I'll still... go on.

Everyone has to go on.

And... if I die, I would like the others to go on, too.

So, there. I guess I can only offer some flowers for the departed.

And I shall go on, be happy, and... well, face life one step at a time.

Sure, I'll love him still, as well as I love my true mother and my father, whom I don't remember - but whom I still love..

I'll never forget him, even.

But I have to let go. Accept he's ... gone. _But just for a while._

What, we'll meet again, right, Zack?

Good night.

* * *

Hmm... so this was when Cloud, Aeris and co. had visited Gongaga. There she found out - got confirmation, rather - of Zack's fate, right? Well, there it is. I guess, being exposed to a lot of deaths (after all, being a Cetra meant hearing the Planet receive dying people, and being in Midgar meant seeing people waste away in poverty), she'd have to reflect on dying once in a while. 

Cheers for Aeris!

(Oh, and I've edited this.)


End file.
